THE NIGHT I GOT WOLF WHISTLED
My Transgender Diary hasn’t been getting much love lately :( It’s ironic, because I’ve been doing so many amazing things in terms of my transition, like:
- Changing my name by Deed Poll
- Going to Work as Me
- Throwing away all my Boy Clothes
- Even wearing a lil Swimsuit in public as I start Learning how to Swim :)
Lots of fun stuff … and I haven’t even talked about electrolysis on the diary yet … tut, I will briefly say…
Electrolysis is so much less painful than facial laser hair removal
… I have still been hand writing about all these experiences, I just haven’t typed them up yet. I’ll be honest, I don’t really feel like being sat in front of a computer screen at the moment :)
Anyways … the following entry is a lil diary entry I wrote on the 8th August 2004: The Night I Got Wolf Whistled. This was just 11 days after I had told my Mum I was transgender, and this memory is about my experiences of Going Outside as Me for the First Time.
“OH MY GOD … I just went out for a walk lol
I‘ve only ever been out once before at like 2am. That time only lasted a few seconds, it was raining and I crept out the flat, making sure to leave the door ajar, and with umbrella raised to hide my face, I remember putting one foot on the pavement, before running back inside lol
This time however, was a proper walk; it wasn’t 2am either, but 11pm … so people were still out and about. Black boots, a pink skirt and top were the clothes of choice, and the plan was to walk around the block without having a heart attack.
I made my way up the road, I didn’t expect to see anyone as its a back street, but I found myself taking a deep breath as the sound of a car approached. Terrified and Excited all at once, it soon vanished into the distance and I realised I was still walking. I hadn’t run back home in fear like I expected, instead I rounded the corner, making my way down a few more back streets.“
*CLIP CLOP* *CLIP CLOP*
“The sound of my black high heel boots echoed all around, before being joined by a new sound …
Someone was learning out their window,
sending a wolf whistle my way.”
“I never looked back, I just made sure to wiggle my bum a little lol, as if to say, thank you :) I was honestly more focused on just making sure I didn’t fall over, my heart was racing, and I could feel my legs were on the verge of turning into jelly.
The main road was now in sight, complete with cars driving past in both directions. I took another deep breath, before realising I was actually going to do this. It’s strange, because I had this sensation of watching my feet almost walking themselves … as if I was merely along for the ride.
Cars continued to drive past in both directions.
A bloke was walking down the street in front of me.
The sound of my heels clip clopping away seemed to get louder and louder with each step.
I was finally free; outside as me.
I felt alive … Vulnerable and Scared … but insanely Powerful.
My heart is still racing but I want to go back out. I might have to, yeah, one more time just before going to sleep.
What a rush!“
– August 8th, 2004 : The Night I Got Wolf Whistled
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"If you don’t take that first step, a path won’t open for you."