ABOUT ME / MY DIARY /
ORIGINALLY POSTED 8th AUGUST 2004
Future me from the year 2021 here *waves* The following diary entry is a transgender memory I first wrote back in 2004, on August the 8th: The Night I Got Wolf Whistled. This was only 11 days after I had told my Mum I was transgender, but this memory is about creeping outside as me in the middle of the night when I was still hiding the fact I was transgender.
*end of future me*
OH MY GOD … I just went out for a walk lol
I’ve only ever been out once before at like 2am. That time only lasted a few seconds, it was raining and I crept out the flat, making sure to leave the door ajar, and with umbrella raised to hide my face, I remember putting one foot on the pavement, before running back inside lol
This time however, was a proper walk; it wasn’t 2am either, but 11pm … so people were still out and about. Black boots, a pink skirt and top were the clothes of choice, and the plan was to walk around the block without having a heart attack.
I made my way up the road, I didn’t expect to see anyone as its a back street, but I found myself taking a deep breath as the sound of a car approached. Terrified and Excited all at once, it soon vanished into the distance and I realised I was still walking. I hadn’t run back home in fear like I expected, instead I rounded the corner, making my way down a few more back streets.
*CLIP CLOP* *CLIP CLOP*
The sound of my black high heel boots echoed all around, before being joined by a new sound … Someone was learning out their window, sending a wolf whistle my way.
I never looked back, I just made sure to wiggle my bum a little lol, as if to say, thank you :) I was honestly more focused on just making sure I didn’t fall over, my heart was racing, and I could feel my legs were on the verge of turning into jelly.
The main road was now in sight, complete with cars driving past in both directions. I took another deep breath, before realising I was actually going to do this. It’s strange, because I had this sensation of watching my feet almost walking themselves … as if I was merely along for the ride.
Cars continued to drive past in both directions. A bloke was walking down the street in front of me. The sound of my heels clip clopping away seemed to get louder and louder with each step.
I was finally free; outside as me.
I felt alive … Vulnerable and Scared … but unbelievably Free.
My heart is still racing but I want to go back out. I might have to, yeah, one more time just before going to sleep.
What a rush!
– August 8th 2004, The night I got Wolf Whistled