23 • THE DAY I GOT STOPPED BY THE POLICE

This is 2020 me here *waves* The following diary entry I wrote after a night out, on the 30th of August 2004. Reading this diary entry all these years later, it’s amazing how the experience has come flooding back. I can still remember exactly what I was wearing, a lil white bodycon dress with white ankle strap heels. I had my hair tied up with a fluffy white scrunchy, and had my keys and phone in a little white handbag.

The memory of this night is so vivid. I can even remember the boyfriend/girlfriend couple I walked past. I was walking down the street and the couple where walking towards me side by side. When the girl caught a glimpse of me I remember seeing her grab her boyfriends arm and pull him across to the other side of the street. I’ve no idea if I scared her, or if she thought I was going to steal her man lol

Back in 2004 I was still living as Kevin, and sneaking out at night for lil midnight walks as Sophie was the coolest thing. Now that I’ve transitioned, I do sort of miss them, there was always this mix of fear and excitement; Maybe I should start sneaking out for midnight walks dressed as Kevin lol.

*end of future me*

Oh my god!

I went out about 10pm tonight for a long 45 minute walk. It’s the earliest I’ve ever been out, and unlike the near silence of a midnight walk, tonight saw plenty of activity. I walked past so many people, including a group of lads, various pubs packed with party goers, and a boyfriend/girlfriend couple. The walk was very relaxing and fun, and when I finally got home I didn’t want to come in. So I slipped into another dress and off I went for another walk.

Through the park as normal, but this time, instead of going down the back street like before I went right down the main road where all the pubs and people were. I was walking along, the sound of my heels click-clopping away, echoing around the street for all to hear, when this sexy sound was rudely interrupted by the hum of an engine. A very faint rumble, but one I could sense getting closer. Finally it pulled up alongside. I could see the red lights shining from the traffic lights up ahead, so thought nothing of it.

They must just be stopping for the lights, I thought. Next thing I know, this bloke says, “Are you alright love?“ I looked around, it was a pair of policemen lol Being a bit shocked I just nodded my head up and down. “Are you sure?” the policeman replied. I nodded my head again, all the while thinking, help! He smiled and said, “Ok, well you be careful.“

Phew, I thought, as they slowly made their way on to the traffic lights. I started to feel more at ease as the familiar click-clopping sound returned. I was just about to walk past their now stationary police car, when the lights turned green and off they drove. I did half think of trying to say something in a girlie voice, but chances are it would have come out in a deep boy voice lol

While this was a slightly scary situation for a few seconds, I now found myself smiling. Smiling at the sensation I felt inside. This was the first time anyone had ever spoken to me as Sophie, and the way the policeman addressed me, the soft protective sounding tone in his voice … it made me feel very feminine.

– August 30th 2004, The day I got stopped by the Police