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Three Hours in a Plymouth Wig Shop, a Transgender Diary Entry with Transgender Artist & Model Sophie Lawson

*waves* future me here from the year 2020, just wanted to say, this Plymouth wig shop no longer exists :( but I did see the lady who runs it in town last year, and she’s moved to a new location. I haven’t been in there yet, but I believe it is Plymhair & Extensions

*end of future me*

ORIGINALLY POSTED 9th SEPTEMBER 2016

I’ve had a tough week this week, so this visit to a local Plymouth Wig Shop was much needed. There’s been so much self doubt. Extreme emotional highs and lows. It must be the hormones … uncontrollable crying at work too. I was in the store room cupboard crying and I said out loud to myself, “I don’t even know why I’m crying anymore.” lol I’ve been determined to keep pushing forward, despite all the doubt.

On Wednesday I said to myself, tomorrow, I will go buy an eye shadow makeup palette my Niece recommended called I Heart Chocolate by Makeup Revolution. She came round and gave me some makeup advice, I watched her do her makeup. She made it look easy. A few days later I tried to do what she did and it looked poopy. Art however has taught me many things, like how the only way to get good at something, is to practice it. So it’s time to start practising makeup I guess.

Along with buying this makeup palette, I also said I’ll finally go into this Plymouth wig shop I’ve kept passing on the bus. Yesterday, I went into Superdrug and picked up the  makeup palette … mission one complete :) I didn’t feel scared like I used to when buying Sophie things. The last time I was in a shop buying makeup or clothes was in 2015, and I felt on edge. This time, even with me wearing painted blue nails, I just walked in, browsed the makeup section (there’s so many more palettes I want now lol) found the one my Niece said about, and over to the till I went.

The lady at the till clocked my nails and smiled, I had the sense she kind of liked that I was obviously buying this makeup for myself. So I felt proud of myself, but going into the wig shop … that was going to be something else. I’ve been doing baby steps for a few months now. Steps that take me closer to where I want to be. I’ve been meaning to write a diary about all my baby steps, one of them for instance has been wearing nail polish all the time. Even at work. I’m still presenting as Kevin, only with nail polish. I’m starting to not care anymore. I did at first, but now it’s just something I do.

So, buying the makeup yesterday felt like a baby step. I can handle baby steps, but going into the wig shop felt more scary. Sort of like moving into the next phase, a level two step. A toddler step maybe lol I finished work this morning and started thinking. I can’t do it. You can. I can’t. You can. I can’t… YES. YOU. CAN. I did my daily meditation, visualising myself walking into the wig shop and asking a question to the person in the shop. So, if nothing else, I could just go in, ask the question, and get the hell out of there. Get in and get out lol

All I had to do, was open the shop door and walk in. The rest, I would leave in the hands of the universe. After my meditation, I wiped my eyes and off I went. The wig shop is only 5 minutes down the road, perfect! As I got closer, I started saying, What am I doing? Am I doing this? I just kept walking. Near to the wig shop was an electrical shop selling video games, so I stopped and looked in the window for a bit. Wasn’t really thinking anything, but I knew I was stalling. I headed for the wig shop, the door now in sight.

Oh my god. I’m actually doing this. I pushed the door open…that was all I had to do. The sound of a bell rang as the door slowly opened. Mission two complete!

“Hello!” I heard spoken in a friendly voice.

“Hello,” I replied. I couldn’t see the till, the voice was hidden behind rows and rows of female heads, each one proudly showing off their beautiful heads of hair. Yes, I thought. I like it in here. I walked over to where the voice came from, repeating the question I’d memorised. “Do you have any real hair wigs?” What followed, I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams. She asked if I was transgender, looking at my nails I could tell she didn’t need me to answer, but I answered anyway, “Yes,” I smiled.

“What colour are you looking for?”Dark brown,” I replied. She proceeded to pull wig after wig from the top shelf. “Oh I love this one,” she said. I felt so comfortable with her already. She said “The only way to see what you like is to try them on and play around. You’re in a wig shop,“ she said “Just try everything on!” lol

I picked this really nice dark brown wig, she put it on me and pulled the hair to one side, “Yeah, that looks nice with your cheeks,” she said. There I was, in a wig shop, standing in front of a mirror, having this lovely lady called Leah playing with my hair. Amazing. Why was I so scared of this before? I could stay here forever.

“Can I try that black and red one on?” I said pointing across the shop.

“Ohh, that’s another one of my favourites,” she said, “It’s got so much volume.”

There’s three wigs in the shop she adores most, and this was one of them. I can see why. She made it look easy, but you can style this wig in so many ways. She had me wearing a bun, ponytail, bits here, bits there…whatever she did it looked cool and I wanted to keep it like that. I had to have this wig. She had me practising some of the various styles, before she styled the wig for me to take home. I had to buy this wig, and the brown one was nice too, that will be my everyday wig I thought. So I bought that one too lol But this black and red one … this will be the fun times wig :) She said I’ll look beautiful once I’ve done my makeup. Hmm, she hasn’t seen my makeup skills lol

Three Hours in a Plymouth Wig Shop, a Transgender Diary Entry with Transgender Artist & Model Sophie Lawson

My Purchases:

A black Salon Elite Tangle Teezer hairbrush
Q-Kimberly wig (color 4 – Brown) by IT’S A WIG
Brown Sugar wig (color smp1b – Red Velvet) by ISIS

The Brown Sugar wig, by ISIS, is amazing! This is one of the wigs Leah said has so much volume to it. You can not only visually see it, but feel it too! It’s such a fun wig to play with. It’s black and red, just like Alexandra, aka StarFucked :)

We also spent a while flicking through her wig catalogues, and looking at photos on her phone of her wearing different wigs :) I never knew you could use tongs and straighteners on wigs. All these years I’ve just got a wig and worn it the way it was. “No! You have to experiment. Have fun,” she said. “Don’t be afraid,” I said, she laughed … “Yes, just go for it.” She is so cool. Thank you universe for having Leah enter my life. She said if I ever want any style tips or help, don’t be afraid to come in. She said she’d even leave the shop open for me after 6:30pm if I wanted to have a private session. I’d have to pay £15, as she would be staying on after the shop’s shut, but this way, no one would come in and interrupt us. Today a lady came in while I was wearing a wig, I did feel a bit arghhhh, but not as much as I would have suspected.

I told her I’m just at the very start of becoming me, she said how she’s been to a transgender party round the corner and would try to hook me up with some of her regulars. I could have stayed there all day. I almost did, three hours! Three hours in this Plymouth wig shop, and I never felt uncomfortable. It’s all because of Leah you know, she made me feel at ease. So happy. I was going to practice my eye makeup today, I was looking forward to that, but my time in the wig shop was way more special. I kept thinking about that quote from Erased again, “If you don’t take that first step, the path won’t open for you.”

All I had to do, was take the first step into the wig shop. I had faith the universe would take care of the rest. It did.

I would return to this Plymouth wig shop eight months later in May 2017, but this next visit would be one of the worst experiences of my life.

IF YOU DON’T TAKE THAT FIRST STEP, A PATH WON’T OPEN FOR YOU

Satoru Fujinuma